As you may or may not be aware, I sometimes write stories that are so long that I have to split them up into smaller, more manageable s...

A Very Kind Rejection

   As you may or may not be aware, I sometimes write stories that are so long that I have to split them up into smaller, more manageable sections called "chapters". I call these long stories "novels". Anyway, once I've written these really long stories, if I think they're good enough then I submit them to literary agents to be rejected. 
   Often, literary agents send back a photocopied letter that they send to everyone in their slush pile that day, saying:
Dear loser,
I didn't read your submission, I barely even read the synopsis you enclosed with it; but what I got from thinking about it is that it's shit and should never be published. So, thanks for submitting, but never do it again, kay? Know your place (it's on Twitter and Blogspot, with the rest of those self-published fools).
Regards,
Agent X.
   And understandably so. Literary agents receive on average two thousand submissions a year, most of which are unreadable bullshit; so if they read every one, took interest in it, and wrote back suggesting the improvements necessary to make it publishable, they'd never actually have any time left to represent the authors already on their books.
   So imagine my surprise when I received the following rather kind rejection letter from a publisher to whom I submitted my work a few months ago. It seems that not only did they read the synopsis, but they read a few pages as well; and then they wrote a thoughtful response just for me. How lovely. Obviously, it could still be a form letter that they've photocopied, but if you're an author who's received a similar reply, I'd appreciate it if you kept it to yourself, thankyouverymuch.
   I've censored the publisher's name because some people are funny about having their words put on the Internet without being asked aren't they. Again, understandably so.
   So, let this be encouragement to any authors seeking representation and getting nothing but photocopied rejection letters. Your work is read, and some people will like it, even if everyone else hates it...

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